I am not usually a violent person.. but there is one woman in this town that needs to be sacrificed to sheep for a slow trampling to death with careful little pointed hooves.
Sure, it would tickle in the beginning.. but then the bruising would start.. and it would get quite hurty quite quickly.. then.. if the sheep were unshorn they’d be quite heavy I imagine.. so then.. I imagine those careful sheep balancing on her tendony bits.. shifting their weight slightly.. then eventually her skin would be slashed to ribbons by those angular hooves.. and then.. she would scream for a bit and then she would die from the pain [or eventually from some nasty sheep hoof borne disease].
The end.

7 comments
Comments feed for this article
June 29, 2009 at 11:25 pm
Lill
ya know the most annoying thing about sheep…their insistent baa-ing…maybe she could be tortured with baa-ing before the hooves get her in the end…and their eyes…ewwww spooky teary eyes that sheep have. I must tell you sometime about my traumatised childhood, sheep feature BIG.
June 30, 2009 at 5:26 am
Tom Allen
June 30, 2009 at 8:24 am
Sulpicia
Oh.
You are slightly more tempestuous than you let on, aren’t you? That’s like when people tell me I’m COMPLICATED. So feel free to fling things at me.
I must note, however, that your description of slow death by sheep is magnificent.
June 30, 2009 at 9:24 am
sulkygirl
good god Lill.. they are lovely little sheep.. how could you be terrorised (unless they were trying to kill you)
no tom, I don’t wake up to lambs.. but one tuesday of the month I wake up to cows screaming.. (there is a cattleyard half a mile from my house..)
S love.. I had just received an email from the woman murdered in the post above. There is a reason this scene had to be death from sheep.
Are we all complicated? I sincerely hope so..
June 30, 2009 at 10:41 am
Lill
oh SG, if you only knew…the only ‘nice’ sheep is the one that’s roasted and sitting on a plate (apologies to all the vegies out there).
June 30, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Tom Allen
I think you missed the movie reference, Clarisse.
June 30, 2009 at 9:42 pm
sulkygirl
I didn’t miss a thing Tom.